i just enroll myself to the fight club (no i'm just kidding)


Well lets talkin about getting hurt to feel alive, yes, to feel alive (am I some kind of self abuser?! NO). Lately I was thinking about myself (and talking to myself too, I’m not crazy and I’d love to talk to myself). The new job I had now, which I’m still trying so hard to understand why I choose this crazy one instead the steady previous one, is getting better in some aspects. The salary, the crazy work hours, the people, and the office they’re like some kind of fruit mix in a plate served with a spicy-sweet-sour sauces (the thing that my stomach can’t resist, but my mouth longing for it). One day I was driving home on the highway at 3 in the morning after had so much hell for working more than 12 hours, and suddenly I cried while driving without a reason. And I stop at the emergency road side and thinkin “why the heck am I cryin?!” And I consciousness answered it with “because you need it, it makes you alive”.

You know I believe that sometimes something happen for a reason. Why i took the job, why I have to meet such an ignorant guy (and fall for him for stupid reason, doh!), why I have you start to take a photos again, why I have to feel so many rejections (which sometime makes believe that I’m not that good). And there’s only one answer for that, because it’s worth it, it’s really worth it.

My life is all about ups and downs (and a flat dying line sometimes). It never was too easy, but in another way it never been too hard for me. I guess all this shity things that comes into my life will somehow lead me somewhere, somewhere I don’t know (and can’t even imagine where). It might brings me to a place that I really wanted, but it also can lead me to somewhere I don’t expect it. Yet, at the end all the bruises I got will leave a mark, a mark that will remind me that life is something that you can’t be predicted but still something you can always be thankful for.

currently listening to this while writing (been listening it for the whole freaking day actually)


calosa said...

somehow i can relate myself to your post.. hang in there, girl.. everything happens for a reason :)

Karina Saputri said...

aww,..thanks Cal,..and yes, everything happens for a reason :)

Anonymous said...

Damn, i hate this post, why there were too many hurts around us, everything happens for a reason? Do you know the reason? Or at least, have you know the reason? :)