10.8.12

in love

You know it's kinda lame every time I want to start to write again. about love. not that I don’t have faith on it. I do. I really do. the thing is sometimes our brains have a different definition of love. A more logical definition, which involves the neural alchemy. The brain treats love like a habit that has been formed over time. So after lust may come love, logically. Or perhaps, some just want to keep it lust, for the fun-non-commitment sake.

To be honest, I’m not really good at it. you see, I used to have this idea of dream love. like a Walt Disney kind of fairy tales. I guess that’s the time when i use my heart more than my brain. Oh I was young back then, so what do you expect. Then by the time i entered the university, things change. I guess at some level, the university term kind of a turning point for some people, in some phase. mine is love phase.

Hmm what are we talking about again?! oh right, love. so yeah, I’ve been there one time. and  my definition of love is becoming increasingly widespread. from just holding hands while walking side by side, to holding hands while walking side by side in any kind of weather. from the butterfly-stomach effect to the top level of awareness to realize that in this world nothing is lasting. including love.

Perhaps what I’m saying here sounds like I’m a cold-hearted kind of person. in fact I’m not. i feel love at the moment. it does feel great. tho my brain and heart seems can't work together, but i manage. you see, loving relationships alter the brain the most significantly. Just consider how much learning happens when you choose a mate. Along with thrilling dependency comes glimpsing the world through another’s eyes; forsaking some habits and adopting others -a good and bad; tasting new ideas, rituals, foods or landscapes; a slew of added friends, family -enemy?; a tapestry of physical intimacy and affection; and many other catalysts, including a tornadic blast of attraction and attachment hormones — all of which revamp the brain. 

And despite what all my brain think or feel about it, I’m glad that my heart still feel it. and yes, it feels warm. and it feels like home.


ps: gosh this like the longest post I’ve ever write -and think about- this year.
pps: damn it feels so good to be in love
ppps:...and I’m looking forward to this :)


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