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Dear Dad,

How have you been?! Everybody wishing you a restfully life over there.  It’s been a while since I talk to you. We haven’t move any furniture in the house ever since. You know, you kinda like doing that, every weekend! You know how I would feel uncomfortable every time I went home and the tv position is changing or the dining area, or my bedroom stuff. Now I kinda miss it.

And every weekend, my lazy days of course, you gets to woke up the whole house with your favorite jazz music, especially the one from Bill Saragih and Nat KingCole. I can’t remember weekend without music in our house.  Once we have a Christmas jazz album playing and mom looking at you with squinting eyes (you always think Christmas song are so joyful and makes you happy, works for me i guess). Mom still doing your habit, but you always know she never into jazz, she played Julio Iglesias or Andrea Bocelli all the time. Sometime i saw her from the upstairs, smoking her cigarette listening and wandered. i guess she also miss you.

Every weekend you gets to fix our garden and the washing room, you think its messy. Mom always yelling whenever you put too much water on her plants, say you will kill it, on your defend the more water the more healthier (oh dad). On your lazy days you’ll just polish all the wooden furniture or starting to rearrange the walking closet and stop in the middle for napping and ask me to finish it in the end (oh dad).

You remember every weekend you always ask mom to cook something special, your favorite rawon, opor anything consist meat and coconut soup? Mom didn't do it much now, we’re into fish and veggies, I guess when you’re still here you will think the same way ;)

Do you remember your granddaughter? She’s grown so much now, she starting to eat and learn to sit properly. Mom always help with the feeding time, blessed to have her around to help cause you remember our feeding time when we were kids (ha!). I know you’re not allowed to be close with her. Everyday you always peeked through the door sidelines, smile and calling her name. One time when everybody’s not around, I saw you coming into the room to touch her hand and give her a kiss goodbye. Now every time she’s laugh or smile or seems like talking or seeing something (of course baby don’t talk and the eyesight is still poor, but let’s pretend she did it) we believe it’s you who she communicate with :) she’ don’t smile that often (of course, like her mother) but we believe she’ll grow as a lovely amazing person, like you always believe us will be.

We still have the usual porch-chat after you left.  It was really hard time when you insist to build that porch while the rest of us disagreed with your choice? But now we understand it. That porch unites the family. Now we always sit there and reminiscing the good old time with you.

Oh Dad, we've miss you so much that sometime we all cried inside. We know for the past 2 months you’re not able to speak, we believe that you would say something like “take a good care of yourself, your mother, your sister, but the most is yourself. I've been taught you a lot of things and now you get to use that to continue your life without me, so I won’t be worry of you. I know I've been saying "no" all the time for your life choices, but you know I love you and I’m happy if you’re happy. I always proud of you, you know. And I want you to live your life in a very happy possible way”

We’re going to visit you tomorrow, and don’t worry I wont forgot your favorite flower! Here’s something for you, see you soon, Dad!

Your daughter,

Rin.